Commitment: Bliss or Burden

Almost nobody wants to be tied down to a relationship. We all need ‘some space’, ‘a breath of fresh air’ or any other plausible cliché that can spare us the burden of commitment in a relationship. Some people even brazenly defend themselves with excuses like ‘it’s not like we’ve exchanged marital vows or anything!’



The truth is that love is not enough to sustain a relationship. It may be an important prerequisite for finding the right person but for that relationship to last, commitment becomes indispensable. You may truly love your partner or soul mate but if you’re not ready to be focused on and trustworthy to your partner, then you are definitely in the wrong sort of relationship. So how then do you forcefully embrace this dim, unattractive concept?
One way of solving your commitment issues is by visualizing the probable future you would share with your partner if you persist in your behavioural pattern. You would see the deceit and lies you would have to employ to cover your indiscretions. Oh, you maybe lazy or reluctant to think ahead because of the comfort and distractions of now, but it is wise to remember that disasters don’t happen in one day- tomorrows calamities start building up now.
Your attitude is a tool potent not only in relationships but also every facet of our lives. The right attitude can force bad times into good times, dilute tension into laughter and turn bitterness to happiness. Attitude can simply be defined as our outlook and approach in life. In the context of commitment, instead of thinking now I’ve got to take her out this night, you can see it as now i get to take her out this night. Instead of now i get to be yelled at, you can choose now i get to be the patient, understanding, caring partner. After all, aren’t these qualities that make up a beautiful person?
Considering the fact that your partner is a great catch might help you resolve your commitment issues. After all, there was a reason you chose him or her in the first place right? So while you are thinking now I’ve got to babysit her all day, someone else is dying for the opportunity to have a few minutes with her. While you are complaining of the football mania that drives him crazy, a girl somewhere would gladly laugh and listen to every nonsense he has to say. It is true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it so if you don’t realise and appreciate your partner’s worth, someone else will.
In relationships, violation of commitment isn’t just about all the bad you have done, but also all the good you didn’t do. When was the last time you showed your partner how special the person is to you? Did you proclaim your affection for your partner the last time you did out of what you truly felt or out of duty?

TJ Benson

TJ Benson is a Nigerian youth of mixed tribal heritage but principally Tiv, Idoma and Igbo. Loves and embraces art in its various forms and sees it as a means of changing the world for the better. He loves cooking, badminton, poetry, movies and studying the human psyche asides writing. He is currently working on his debut novel, 'Finding Eden' Keep up with me on twitter @Tarfa_Jay

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