Love at First Click

Like almost all other commodities in existence today, love has gone online! Virtually all social networks have taken advantage of this trend that started in early nineties by creating parameters where people can fill in their bio-data and search for people with like interests. Thousands of websites worldwide have been solely dedicated to finding partners interested in various forms of relationships from short flings to marriage. Indeed it is not surprising to find couples nowadays who claim to have met online and probably wouldn’t have any other way. However could online love be as easy and devoid of physical relationship drama as most people would have us believe?

Abductions, date-rape, murder and a plethora of several other crimes against humanity have ravaged countries where online dating has been deemed prominent. The staggering crime rates have spread across from the USA in the wake of technological awareness to even African countries. It has become  easier for a psychopath to set up a date with a naïve young girl in Nigeria and South-Africa via 2go than for him to find a one night stand in Italy. Robberies, scams and other related white-collar crimes are now pulled of more effectively in this era of technology, thanks to social networking sites. All the offender need do is to log on and get the victim’s basic personal information online including current address, job description and etc.

Oh, this isn’t to discourage online dating. In fact it breaches the gaps of time and circumstance that no other opportunity could – maybe there would really be no other way for some couples to have met other than online dating forum. Guys generally favor it over physical confrontation as they believe a girl would be more uptight in person than online. There are however some critical parameters to be considered before finding love online.

  • PURPOSE

The love seeker should have a clear definition of what he or she wants online to avoid misconceptions or wrong innuendos. In a physical setting, these misconceptions could be cleared before the relationship enters the next level, but online… There are a lot of services from professional sex workers to erotic phone call service so if you are vague in your definition of what you want, you might end up in the wrong sort of relationship. And heartbreak happens online too.

  • SECURITY

This parameter cannot be over emphasized and you seriously don’t want to become a victim of the aforementioned predicaments to appreciate its importance. How much of your personal information do you advertise for the world to see? How long do you know and study an online friend before uploading sensitive pictures of yourself and current location? Does the person of interest even have a credible online bio-data? It takes a lot of caution when it comes to online dating, you really can’t be careful enough.

  • ONLINE ATTITUDE

Are you a cyber-stalker with a romantic intent? Are you so desperate online that you are always online? Do you misconstrue ordinary conversations as romantic whispers, first meetings as romantic rendezvous? You really should back off! You shouldn’t be wondering why you’ve been into several unsuccessful online relationships or none at all because the answer is really no surprise – your attitude is scaring everyone away! Online relationships need room for growth and breathing, just like physical ones. If you come across as being desperate, the person of interest would begin to suspect you have ulterior if not arcane motives.

Anonymity is one benefit of online dating that many of its users wield. They can express feelings they never would have over the internet with unusual confidence knowing they can hide behind their online identities as long as they wish. However one should exercise caution and not expect online dating to be necessarily a bed of roses because as in all human relationships, it isn’t without its own drama.

TJ Benson

TJ Benson is a Nigerian youth of mixed tribal heritage but principally Tiv, Idoma and Igbo. Loves and embraces art in its various forms and sees it as a means of changing the world for the better. He loves cooking, badminton, poetry, movies and studying the human psyche asides writing. He is currently working on his debut novel, 'Finding Eden' Keep up with me on twitter @Tarfa_Jay

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